Alright faithful disciples! Yes that's right, all five of you. Mark your calendars, set your alarms, shine up those eyeballs because my solo show is opening July 14th, and the date is fast approaching. I've been painting and drawing a hoard of badasserdly ladies, and I just recently began making the weaponry to be installed alongside them! Pictures will follow soon of the feathered arrows that I've been putting together, and of the AWESOME WOODEN SWORDS that MY DAD is making for the show. That's right. My dad is making swords. For my art show. Let's all bow down.

More details soon!

She-Horde

The lovely people at the Modern Eden Gallery offered me a solo show in July, and I could not be more grateful and excited. Without revealing too much, the show will be about ass-kickers, vengeful broads, and blood-thirsty female warriors. My work will be informed by both historical and fictional females who made a living off of wielding swords, shooting arrows and collecting heads; and after only 2 weeks of investigation I've found a wealth of these women.

I'll keep the posting to a minimum, but here are some photos of some of the initial progress, and of the corner microcosm where I will be giving birth to oil paintings and graphite drawing babies. Thanks Modern Eden!

Le Sigh

SIGGGGHHHHH. The internet is full of people griping about their lives, so I think I am entitled to a tiny paragraph of small strife-related thoughts. 

Lately I have really hated every finished piece of mine. I'm not talking about "Yeah, I'll just put it in a drawer and I'll never see it again" kind of hatred, but the kind where I immediately want to declare fiery pitchfork war against it. This is mainly because I have not found my particular style yet. While most of my friends are able to recognize my work, I can personally see no through-line save for the subject matter. As an aspiring illustrator, and as someone who very deeply wants to earn a living as an artist, this is supremely, suffocatingly frustrating. It is a form of 'artist's block' that eats your stomach lining and proceeds to regurgitate it out your tear ducts, and then you just cry it out onto your half-done drawing. You can't make anything without worrying about the finished product. Whether you will like it, whether someone else will like it, whether it will sell in a gallery, whether your online followers will even care, whether you are really exploring your full imaginative potential, whether you are really saying what you intend, whether your materials are right, whether whether whether whether!!! You also can't make anything without being influenced by someone else's work that you are heatedly jealous of, yet at the same time are so dearly inspired by. You remember that one painting, that particular drawing, that really original style, or that technique you saw that you want to try out. It is truly deafening. 

I have come to the conclusion that I need to remove myself and live completely in my own head. Save for reference photos, I hereby announce, with the internet as my witness, that I will not use Tumblr, Flickr or any other art-displaying website to purposefully view any artworks of any kind for at least 30 days. 

At the same time I accept the fact that I am still very much developing as an artist, and I have a hell of a long way to go. Now that I know what I want to do with my life, this is the time when I need to create my own voice. I WILL, one day, become a Jedi. 

Just another stepping stone covered in stomach lining: 

Sequel to Shameless Painting Process Facts: Photographic Evidence of the Painting Pants

In this post I will photographically introduce you to my beloved painting pants that I described in detail in my last post. Please see the previous post for a full explanation. I'll start with some close up detail shots, and then zoom out for the full effect.

Detail Shot 

The photo is a bit blurry, but then again, so are the pants. You will note the indifferent grey color that has been carefully crafted over the years from compounded cycles of painting, sleeping, lounging, washing and drying. We will never know what all of those small discolored specks are, but I can say that they are some form of matter. Additionally, the outer texture might suggest that these pants are made of sand paper or very small rocks, when they are in fact made of comfort and safety. 

I am convinced that these quite opaque pants will become transparent if I keep them long enough, which I fully intend to do. Now on to some notes about the structure of the pants in question. 

Structure: 

In this photo we are focusing on the knee-area of the pants. Note how the fabric droops and seems to melt out of fatigue and inexplicable amounts of gravity. If you put your ears very close to the deepest knee-fold, you might be able to hear a very faint "Why are you still wearing me?" followed by a groan. How the knees came to look like the ballsack of Grandpappy the Elephant, I cannot say.

The Full Effect

Here they are in all of their illustrious presence, The Great Painting Pants of Olde. 

Grandeur! Luminosity! Adventure! Space travel! These are just a few of the words that might be exploding in your mind as you study this picture. Quite understandable because all of those words apply. 

Scholarship. Legend. The Dos Equis Man. 

Revealed: The Shameless Habits that Make a Painting

Peregrine is a 3'x4' oil painting on a wood panel that took up most of my bedroom for a little over a month, and now the empty void where she prepared for battle is ever so lonely. Over the weeks I mixed, scumbled, wiped and blended, and now that she is complete, all I am left with are the memories. These memories made me realize just how much I descend into the warmest me-zone of utter comfort and shamelessness while I paint. I wrap myself in a thick armored blanket that not a single judge-beam can penetrate. These next few paragraphs highlight and explain some of those habits; just for me to reflect on and for you not to judge.


Shameless Painting Process Fact #1: 

When I sit down to work for a long time, I usually 'listen' to movies on my laptop. Can't really watch them for obvious reasons, so I just 'listen' to movies that I have seen seventy three times. Keeps your brain entertained and your eyes on your painting. Needless to say, the movies that I put on are ones that I have seen probably more than a normal human should re-watch anything. **Disclaimer: A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi are not a part of this list simply because shame has nothing to do with Star Wars. You will watch Star Wars. You will love Star Wars. You will watch Star Wars again. 

Movies I can Recite:
1. ALL three Lord of the Rings (I am no man....YYEEAAAAUUGGHGHHHHRR!!!!!!)
2. Pulp Fiction (MOTHERFU)
3. Kill Bill (Guess that makes him a liar, now, don't it?)
4. Life Aquatic (Do the interns get glocks?)
5. Pride and Prejudice (Mr. Darcy is not to be teased)
6. Amadeus (There are too many notes)
7. 28 Days Later (AAUGBUHRRRRRRRFRAARRR)
8. When Harry Met Sally (There is too much pepper in my paprikash)
9. Inglorious Basterds (THAT'S A BINGO!)
10. Pan's Labyrinth (No me jodas)
11. All seasons of Peep Show (Is that sexy? Glimpse of ballsack?)
12. The list goes on....

Those are some damned re-watchable movies.

Shameless Painting Process Fact #2 


My painting pants.

I will upload a picture soon, but let me describe them first. These painting pants are the sloppiest, grimiest, most pilled and over-used old mushy sweatpants that ever graced a pair of thighs. The knees bag out in these scrotal-like pouch shapes from painting in strange positions. The waistband string no longer exists, probably due to some sudden bout of frustration where I decided I no longer wanted to deal with knots. The butt sags like a wet plastic bag, and they are covered in stains and wipes from paint, medium, coffee, beer and whatever other liquid that happens to be present while I'm at the easel. The washed-out grey color could be camouflage against a backdrop comprised of moldy scrambled eggs, and I LOVE them.

 I bought them during Sophomore year of HIGH SCHOOL, (I am now 23), on a track and field trip during a stop at some random mall in the rural parts of Northern California. At this point, they are too much a part of me to be replaced by some new-fangled fleece print pajama pants from Old Navy. They are my beloved painting pants. I can sit in any position without my knee-pits getting uncomfortable from too much unforgiving denim shoved in there. I can wipe excess paint off my brushes onto them should a paper towel be too far across the room. I can wrap the hems around my bare feet should I have forgotten to put on my slippers. They make an equally indifferent shirt possible to wear all day. I can fall asleep in them when the day is over, and wake up in them the next day and continue painting. They Rule.

More Shameless Painting Process Facts to come. Stay tuned for photographic evidence of the Illustrious Painting Pants. 

Inspirations All Over the Place

"Autumn" in San Francisco has taken hold. Microclimates abound, it's either completely sunny and bone-warming or fogged over with 100% chance of being moist. While a shiny blue-sky day makes anyone happy, I have a soft spot for the blanket of fog the Sunset district is seemingly always curled up in. A grey day makes it a great time for research and image collecting. I've always loved 17th century Dutch paintings, and I think I need to make some time to explore how they used extreme dark, muddy colors to make brilliant lights pop. 

Ambitious, yes, but I'm miss the sensual being that is oil paint, and it's time to get cracking. Stay tuned for autumn group shows!

Off to Maui for Two Weeks!

No posts for the next 14 days as because I'll be one with the fishes in Maui, and also trying to consume less internet! AWAAAAYYYYY!!!